By Ashley Powell, MSW, LISW-S ·
Am I Good at Anything?
I grew up in a small town with 37 students in my graduating class. As an adult there are many things I can look back on and say I love about growing up in a small farm town. In fact, my children attend the same school. However, as a teenager I felt very differently about it. I remember feeling very visible, because it was a small school there was nowhere or no crowd to hide in. Visibility may have been great for the girl every boy wanted to date or the super athletes in a town where basketball is practically a religion. But I was a girl who stayed in that “awkward” stage until around 16. I was not naturally good at anything in school. I worked hard for B’s and C’s with an occasional surprise A. I played the clarinet in the school band and sat as the last chair. I was a cheerleader and very much enjoyed it, but I would have never considered myself a great cheerleader when I couldn’t even do a back-handspring. Then there was…...volleyball. I was never athletic or very interested in sports. Looking back, I think I signed up for volleyball because all my friends were signing up too! It sounded fun. Boy, was I wrong…. this was NOT my definition of fun. In Jr.High Volleyball I remember practicing serving and accidentally nailed my coach in the face with the ball. He definitely thought it was intentional and made that known to the whole team. Nope, I was really just that terrible. But I stuck with volleyball for several more years. In the back of my mind, I always thought surely one day “I’ll get it.” That day never did come. The day that I decided my volleyball skills sucked beyond hope was during a Highschool volleyball game. If you know anything about volleyball, then you know the ball is to be in motion. During the game I was playing a position near the net, and I jumped up to spike the ball. Well, instead of spiking the ball I caught it in midair! I CAUGHT the ball in a game where the ball is clearly supposed to be in motion. My memory is a long silent pause overtook the entire gym. I’m sure in reality it was a few seconds but dear Lord it felt like an eternity. I held the ball in pure disbelief of what I just did, then the whistle was finally blown, and I took a seat on the bench where I was convinced, I belonged not only in the game but in life. That was my last year playing volleyball.
I graduated High School with so much confusion about myself. I seemingly sucked at everything so how in the world was I supposed to go to college and choose a career I would succeed in. I ended up going to a local community college because I didn’t know what else to do. I had no clue what the end goal in this endeavor was. No one in my family had ever gone to college. I started my freshman year of college thinking I’d be lucky to make it two years. I clearly had great self-confidence.
However, to my surprise not only did I enjoy my college classes, but I was actually good at them! Well, except for math but hey I was never going to major in mathematics or build a Rocketship anyway. I did well in creative writing classes. I found a love for psychology and did really well in this. I began to take classes in criminal justice, psychology, and sociology. All of which eventually resulted in being a social work major. I would eventually transfer to a larger campus and earn my bachelor’s degree in social work. Later on, I would pursue and complete my master’s degree and become a clinical/independent licensed social worker. If I could time travel back to meet my teenage self, she’d be in pure disbelief that any of this is possible. I haven’t accomplished anything out of the ordinary, but for a girl who felt she “sucked” at everything, this would be mind blowing.
I’m in my mid-thirties now and a very different person then I was at 16 or 18. However, that teenage girl is somewhere deep inside. There are days when those old thoughts emerge and I must intervene with wisdom. I was never destined to be good at everything in life, but I am certainly good at something….I just had to be willing to find it. There’s not a doubt in my mind that this is what I created to do and I’m so grateful the Lord helped me discover my passion.
Maybe you’re like me and consider yourself to be a teenage disaster. Maybe you’re in your 30’s, 50’s, or upward and you’re still searching for a dream or niche. We often can be our greatest stumbling block. Once we’ve stopped believing in our own potential, we have imprisoned ourselves. It’s a mental prison of self-defeat and self-pity. You’re not too young or too old. Today is a perfect day to begin. Take a deep breath and look deep inside. Explore these questions:
- What energizes me?
- What do I daydream about doing or becoming?
- Am I actively pursuing what I want to see in the next 5 years?
- What’s a step I can take today towards my dream/goal?
Today unleash your potential! It’s there…I know that it is! The first step to your dream is simply believing you can.
Being Brave with You,
Ashley
“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.” -Proverbs 16:3