By Ashley Powell, MSW, LISW-S ·
Nobody Understands
“Nobody gets it!” These are words I have said myself many times. I’ve said this from distress in my heart, loneliness in my circumstances, and when facing uncertainty of the future. I wonder if you’ve had this experience as well? Most of us have and will. Unfortunately, it isn’t difficult to see human suffering in our world today…it’s everywhere. It’s on the news, social media, in our neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, and interpersonal relationships. We experience different types of emotional pain and difficulty at various stages and seasons of life. However, despite how common human suffering is….it can feel as if we are the only ones who experience it when “we’re in it.” I’ve experienced this personally and I’ve seen it professionally. Not only can we easily feel alone in the battle but we can even become bitter towards those around us. We wish that friend or family member would reach out. We wish our spouse could truly understand. Or maybe it’s your church or God that you become bitter towards. Why would a loving God leave us in this emotional wreckage? Silent screams for help can leave us feeling even more emotionally undone. Doesn’t anyone care? Nobody gets it…
In Mathew 26 Jesus is praying in the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus had with him his disciples. I like to call the disciples “His people.” These were the ones that had his back and journeyed with Jesus. They even witnessed first -hand the encounters of Christ! That night in the garden Jesus asks them to watch and pray with Him for one hour. Jesus even said to them in His request that His soul was exceedingly sorrowful even to death (Matthew 26:36-38). Let’s remember that Jesus walked this Earth in the form of man, meaning He had full exposure to every level of human suffering. Jesus experienced the physical agony of the nails going through His body. That night in the Garden of Gethsemane, I believe Jesus felt emotional pain. When Jesus fell on His face in prayer asking God to “take this cup from Him” I believe Jesus was feeling fear. The anxiety and sorrow of the persecution and death He was about to face was overwhelming in that moment. If you are familiar with this story then you are familiar with the disciple’s response to Jesus’s request…..they fell asleep!
Although Jesus had foretold of His death, I don’t know if the disciples could truly understand the weight of distress Jesus was feeling in that moment. If the disciples had understood this, I wonder if they would have stayed awake? The lesson here is that not everyone (and perhaps very few people) will understand your distress. Even those who have walked on difficult roads in life may not be able to relate to your emotional pain. It’s important to remember that we each have a unique journey in life and our paths rarely look the same. The lack of someone relating or sympathizing with our emotional pain is not necessarily evidence of lack of their love or support. Sometimes, it’s simply evidence that they are unable to relate.
So, friends, be mindful that although the journey feels desolate and painful at times, there are places we can seek refuge! There is nothing wrong with needing human support and there is great wisdom at times seeking and obtaining this. Look around at your support system. Who is trustworthy and dependable in your interpersonal circle? They may not be able to fully relate but they may be able to offer you valuable support and encouragement for your journey. If you find yourself dealing with a more personal or deep-rooted struggle, perhaps you find therapy helpful. Getting an outside perspective from a trained professional can help discover our inner strengths and ways to cope with life’s greatest challenges.
Also, don’t forget to turn to our Heavenly Father. His love is great, and He is faithful. I encourage you to go read Proverbs 2 and meditate on God’s promise to walk with us through hardship. Let’s continue to be brave and courageous!
Being Brave with You,
Ashley